Climate Change Pros: Male, Well-Paid, Secure -- and Looking for Love

[Editor's note: A recent survey finds that climate change pros are mostly men, well-paid and secure -- and presumably, smooth. How smooth? Well, this is what we think it sounds like when these guys hit the nearest eco bar.]

Something I have long suspected was verified this past week. A new survey of 1,100 professionals in fields such as renewable energy and emissions trading found some common characteristics among this crowd, namely that they are typically men, well-paid, highly educated and feeling quite secure.

Nothing so satisfying as a little validation. In meetings, conferences and other professional gatherings lately, I’ve felt a sense of being among those breathing rarefied air. These are guys with a sense of swagger once associated with Wall Street or Silicon Valley, but now taking aim at the finer points of cap-and-trade bills, or writing white-papers on the future of offshore wind farms.

He’d like to buy you something more refreshing...

And when a young climate change pro’s heart turns to romance, these fellows turn their wonkish (and highly marketable) knowledge into sophisticated and cloying openers to woo prospective partners. The bars and clubs at green conferences are buzzing with modern conversation-starters on wind, solar and sequestration that are greener by design for those with designs on others.

Like all men of confidence, means and desire throughout the generations, guys in the climate change world are looking for love and making the moves necessary attain it. Here are the Top 10 Climate Change Professional Pickup Lines currently making the rounds in the green drinks circuit:

1. I don’t know if it’s global warming or you, but I’m burning up.
2. My apartment’s only LEED-Gold, but the bedroom is rated Platinum.
3. I use my energy so efficiently, I deserve my own Energy Star rating.
4. Call me a sentimentalist, but I think passion is the ultimate source of renewable energy.
5. Are you into biomimicry (I hear it’s very popular in Europe)?
6. They don’t call me an expert in sustainability for nothing.
7. Don’t get me started on sequestration, but I can think of a few places where I’d like to put my excess energy.
8. They say water is the new carbon, so how about letting me buy you something more refreshing.
9. I recycle everything in my life, but you’re giving me a brand new feeling.
10. My Tesla goes from 0-60 in less than 4-seconds, but I’m falling for you even faster.

_{Fellow in Suit - Image by emospada.
Lounging Guy - Image by omnify.}